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Emotions are continually affecting our thought processes and decisions

the level of our awareness. And the most common emotion of them all is the desire for pleasure and the avoidance of pain.

The way to recognize this in yourself and in others is by noticing behavior that is suddenly childish in its intensity and seemingly out of character. This could center on any key emotion. It could be fear-of losing control, of failure. In this case, we react by withdrawing from the situation and the presence of others, like a child curling up into a ball. A sudden illness, brought on by the intense fear, will conveniently cause us to have to leave the scene. It could be love-desperately searching to re-create a close parental or sibling relationship in the present, triggered by someone who vaguely reminds us of the lost paradise. It could be extreme mistrust, originating from an authority figure in earlychildhood who disappointed or betrayed us, generally the father. This often triggers a...

Rationality and ethical qualities must be achieved through awareness and effort. They do not come naturally. They come through a maturation process

The great danger here is that in misreading the present and reacting tosomething in the past, we create conflict, disappointments, and mistrust thatonly strengthen the wound. In some ways, we are programmed to repeat the early experience in the present. Our only defense is awareness as it is happen-ing. We can recognize a trigger point by the experience of emotions that are unusually primal, more uncontrollable than normal. They trigger tears, deep depression, or excessive hope. People under the spell of these emotions will often have a very different tone of voice and body language, as if they were physically reliving a moment from early life.

The solution here is simple: whenever you experience unusual gains or losses, that is precisely the time to step back and counterbalance them withsome necessary pessimism or optimism. Be extra wary of sudden success andattention-they are not built on anything that lasts and they have an addictive pull. And the fall is always painful.

Rising Pressure

The people around you generally appear sane and in control of their lives. But put any of them in stressful circumstances, with the pressure rising, and you will see a different reality. Under stress or any threat, the most primitive parts of the brain are aroused and engaged, overwhelming people's reasoning powers. In fact, stress or tension can reveal flaws in people that they have carefully concealed from view. It is often wise to observe people in such moments, precisely as a way to judge their true character.

Whenever you notice rising pressure and stress levels in your life, you must watch yourself carefully. Monitor any signs of unusual brittleness or sensitivity, sudden suspicions, fears disproportionate to the circumstances. Observewith as much detachment as possib...

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