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内容简介:
There can never be too many guides to staying married, especially when they’re as funny and insightful as this one。 The Fox News Channel broadcaster shares hilarious anecdotes from his twenty-year marriage, as well as tongue-in-cheek advice for men on staying out of trouble with their wives。 Steve Doocy is a humble teacher with a big heart who speaks with zesty appreciation for his one and only; his speaking voice conveys a perspective that both men and women will enjoy。 However, his exaggerated speaking style will seem overreaching to some and too often competes for attention with his ideas。 But with snippets of advice from his calmer-sounding wife to keep things in perspective, the production ultimately entertains。
书籍目录:
INTRODUCTl0N
chapter one:In the Beginning...
For His Eyes Only:Ladies,Please Skip This Passage
My Date with Destiny:October27,1985
chapter two:The Wedding and the H0nevm00n
Our Wedding Day:Countdown to Cake
George 0f the Wedding Jungle:w’s Dos and Don’ts
What’s a Honeymoon?A History Lesson
Adam and Steve:My Accidental Honeymoon
Lovers and Lepers:My Honeymoon with Meg Ryan
Honeymoon Horror Story:The Man from Glad
Porn to Be Wild:Should you Camcorder Everything?
A for Effort:Grading the Honeymoon
ChaPter three:Marriage
You’re Mr&Mrs.Happy:NOW What?
what We Really Want:The Lowdown on Love
I Can See Clearly Now:The End of the Honeymoon Effect
From“I Do”to“Uh—oh”:Retraining the New Hire
Wedding CaSher$:I Married a Cheapskate
Love Me(Legal)Tender:Marrieds and Money
Tastes Like Chicken:The Fear Factor
The Edit Sweet:Honesty
Married to the Mom:In—laws
I Dropped When I Shopped:Gift Fatigue
Saturday—Night Fights:How to Argue Without Gunplay
Oh No、It’S Geraldo!When There’S an Age Difference
Rules of Engagement:Married in the Military
Gimme Shelter:YOur First Home
A Moving Experience:Relocating Your Family
The Aliens Next Door:Your Neighbors
Mr.Handy:Home Remodeling
King of Pain:Should I Go to the Hospital?
When I'm Dead.She’S Rich:Wife Insurance
Pet of the Year:Animal House
Volun—teers of a Clown:PuNic Service
Good Sports:Playing Together
Our Marriage Is Perfect,Let’S Date!An Experiment
chapter four:Kids
Growing YOur Family Tree:What Are Are You In For?
Pee on the Stick:Pregnancy
Dial M for Mother:Delivery Day
Sorry,Tallulah’S Taken:Naming the Baby
Breast Intentions:Feeding in Public
Fear Factor:Baby Monitoring
Nannygate:Finding a Babysitter
Say What?Kids Say the Darnedest Things
Parent Trap:A Parent’S Pop Quiz
Making the Grade:Time for School
My Boy in the Bubble:Are YoU Too Protective?
Where Did We Go Wrong?W_0rst.Case Scenarios
Crime and Punishment:Discipline
The Birds,the Bees,the Carrot:Talking About Sex
Dine and Dash:Feeding Time
Frequent.Crier Mties:Traveling with Kids
Almost Rubbed Out by Rudolph:Freak Accidents
chapter five: Mature Topics
Chapter six: Troubleshooting
Chapter seven:Happily Ever After
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书籍介绍
Ever since Eve asked Adam, "Do I look fat in this fig leaf?" it has been apparent that husbands don't know how to relate to their wives. Men believe they understand women and vice versa, but really men know as much about women as a cocker spaniel knows about assembling a Weber grill.
Welcome to The Mr. & Mrs. Happy Handbook, Steve Doocy's laugh-out-loud perspective on love, marriage, and family. The book can be used for its hilarious husband and wife wisdom or, if things aren't going well, as a projectile to get somebody's attention. This is not an advice book. It is a DON'T EVEN THINK OF TRYING THIS book. The author, his family, and his collection of friends (some very famous in the worlds of entertainment, business, and politics) have already discreetly made almost every conceivable marriage mistake, and it is their hope that this irrev- erent manual can save you the trouble of being an idiot on your own.
Doocy, co-host of Fox & Friends, who has been married for twenty consecutive years, provides real slice-of-life stories on everything from early marriage ("I love you, you're perfect, now wear this thong") and pregnancy ("You're eating for two? Who— you and Shaquille O'Neal?") to sending your child to college ("Is that a funnel?") and retirement (high-fiber appetizers on Viagra dates). Most of the stories conclude with "corrections" and additional wise words from Doocy's real-life wife, Kathy, who, after two decades of picking up Steve's socks in the garage, has developed a zany sense of humor herself.
There is also a handy troubleshooting section for when things go haywire, like during the eye- opening experiment undertaken especially for this book, wherein the author wanted to prove to his wife that they were perfect for each other, so he had them join an on-line dating service. Out of a database of several hundred thousand guys, he was not in her top 532 local men. Despite the fact that their one- month experiment ended a year ago, she's still getting photographs of single men whose head shots appear to have been taken at a recent skinhead convention. Luckily for him, she still prefers "bonehead to skinhead."
This book is a celebration of the pageantry that is wedlock, which starts with an "I do" and sometimes ends with a boiled rabbit. Let's face it, marriage isn't always as smooth as a forty-year-old's forehead after six months of Botox. In fact, marriage is ridiculously hard, but laughing about it is now incredibly easy with The Mr. & Mrs. Happy Handbook.
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